chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
