If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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