One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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