i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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