the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
where are my eyebrows?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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