Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize