i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
