forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
