I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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