Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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