I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
