marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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