How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
