I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
