But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
