No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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