i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
