I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
