I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
smell my finger.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
