dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
