if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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