I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize