Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
