she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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