i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
