he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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