You're so nebulous sometimes
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize