I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have post one night stand depression
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
