There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
