Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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