Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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