But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
