whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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