Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
