This is not my ceiling
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
