morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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