I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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