I just made out with a guy for $7.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
