im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
