We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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