I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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