the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
