break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize