Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
