I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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