I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
