just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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