In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
