Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
