i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
