jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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