I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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