It's like God shit irony all over that family
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
