spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize