My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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